April 12, 25 💗 Sunday

Hihi, it's been a hot minute since I made a journal entry. Life is okay. With my kitty (bf), it's more than okay--I love every moment with him and our relationship is so healthy. There is total communication and understanding, he loves me as much as I love him (I def luv him a lil more), and he's my best friend. I can tell him almost anything and the rest that I don't say, I quietly think to myself or at least tell my other best friend (alias: Lucky).
Kitty is very good to me; often he tells me that it's not because he's too sweet for me, but that he's giving me the love I deserve. My silly brain would often be heavy with burdens that spout that I am not enough or that he deserves better than whatever I can provide. He, however, said that I provide more than enough. He's so considerate of my feelings, and I wouldn't trade him off for anything else in the world. Life is strange. It's like I've been with him for an eternity. He and I are growing like the morning glories that blossom when the rays of sun peak over the exterior of suburban houses. And we twindle our vines together until we are completely interlocked. In sync. We step side-by-side in unison, and that's how both of us prefer it. Officially, we've been together for 116 days, so about 4 months. It's mind boggling how time flashes before my eyes and he ends up being the person I'd spend hours of end talking to without getting bored on the daily. How about the quiet moments though? We stay on 12hr+ calls and still appreciate each other's presence. I like sleeping on call with him because it gives me a sense of security knowing that he's snoozing behind the screen. Day long hang outs are not enough for us. This spring break, I spent and endless amount of time binge watching movies and shows with the love of my life, but unfortunately, time on this earth is not endless, and we share our goodbyes at 11pm. To start spring break, I hung out at his place during Saturday after an entire night of grinding on Restaurant Tycoon 2 with him. Anyway, going back to Saturday, we had a dinner date at a nearby Mexican restaurant and went to the theatres to watch A Minecraft Movie! I brought a bingo board with me (didn't score a bingo), but it was nice to see ⚠️Jack Black sing to his heart's content about his Lava Chicken hehe. Another spoiler alert (skip to the next paragraph to avoid)...: LDSHADOWLADY WAS IN THE FREAKING MOVIE AS A CAMEO????!!!! SICKKKKKKKKKKKKKK⚠️
Aside from that shocking revelation, the movie was a solid 9.7/10! Then kitty drove me back to my place and we had a great moment in the car ;) He's so captivating--like, how can he entice me so easily? End scene. On a Monday, we went to my friend's house and watched (my favorite movie) "Everything Everywhere All At Once" in a tent set up in the backyard. It was so nice, yet the weather was below 50 degrees F, so a good chuck of the day was freezing. After the movie, him and I went to my dad's and we watched a couple other things while cuddle maxing. During that day though, my head was overthinking a specific thing, saying that he would full on abandon me. It made me sad. I cried for the rest of the night. The next day, his mom decided to invite me to tag along at the art museum, and I...
And I just got into an argument with my dad. I hate his ways. I hate how he's a pastor. I hate how he basically told me that all I need is an exorcism to get all my demons out, and then all my problems are fixed. It's hard to maintain my faith when my dad makes me hate religion. I hate it. I hate it all. He is the corrupted one, not the shadow government or whatever. I need my freaking dad. And after his reluctance to not get me on medication for my mental problems, he decides that in compensation for that, I trade in my fucking therapy. Yeah, no more fucking therapy for me. Now, I basically only open up completely to my boyfriend and therapist. Kitty is a kid, just like me, so he shouldn't be the one handling all my ordeals. I feel the most compatible with my current therapist, so my dad telling me to go to a freaking school counselor is fucking absurd and I hate it. I don't trust those counselors because they'll just put me back to the psych ward, which is the same exact organization where my therapist works at. Have you thought that far, Dad? Probably not. Damn, his methods piss me off. He doesn't listen. He thinks that being human means to bottle up problems and fix it with a prayer. His traditional ways stem from 1970's Vietnam, so I don't entirely blame him for his religious collectivism approach. While throwing words that would just fucking deflect off of him, I seriously wanted to show him what "normal" was because he repeatedly told me that I was normal with minor issues that everyoneeeee has to deal with. You want normal? Watch me bash my head against the fudging wall! I'm so sick of him. But at least he's buying us Wing Stop, so I won't be too upset. I will be upset if him taking away therpy is confirmed.